3 Common Money Palavas in Marriage, Relationships, and How To Solve Them
posted on Jun 14, 2019 | 245 likes
Are you married? —or thinking about getting hooked soon? —see whether you are at odds on any of these money issues and find the solutions suggested.
Money is a sensitive issue especially in emotional relationships, you need to apply strategic principles and proactive steps in other to manage and contain any complications that might arise.
You can almost not avoid having some money related misunderstandings in relationships, but the key to success is effective communication and teamwork with your spouse.
According to Jamie Slaughter, a certified financial planner in Colorado Springs, “If more couples have regular conversations about money issues before and after walking down the aisle, more marriages may last.”
So, it is important that you start early to build your financial conversation culture and to look out for anchors that will make your marriage or relationship stand the test of time through financial turbulences.
This post is to open your eyes to begin to understand your options, whether you are married —or thinking about getting hitched —see whether you are at odds on any of these money issues and find the solutions suggested. It will go a long way toward starting properly or improving your relationship.
1. Different spending styles - opposites attract
It’s a popular saying; opposites attract, while like charges repel, that’s true especially with your finances, two people in a relationship often tend to diverge into different/opposite spending styles as time goes on.
Even if you start off your relationship with similar ways of handling money, over time you will become opposites, says Olivia Mellan, author of Money Harmony.
For instance, if two spenders marry, eventually one will become a saver relative to the other, she says. “Otherwise, they will end up bankrupt in four minutes.”
While this difference poses unpleasant threats in some relationships, if you look at them as being actual strengths, then you use these differences to build a solid financial angle to your relationship.
According to Mellan, a Therapist for 42 years, there are six categories of money opposites.
a. The money spender versus the money saver
b. The money avoider versus the money worrier
c. The risk taker versus the risk avoider
d. The money merger versus the money separatist
e. The detailed planner versus the dreamer
f. The partner who thinks that too much money is sin, versus the one who thinks that the more the money, the better.
Clearly from this list, you can already detect some possible frictions that would exist in these pairs, which is why money is one of the top reasons for conflicts in homes and relationships.
To get over this, it is recommended that spouses need to learn to empathize with each other by walking in the other person’s shoes.
You can embark on an exercise in which each spouse adopts the other’s money style for at least six weeks.
This will enable both parties to appreciate the thought process of the other and be able to adjust accordingly for the good of the family.
2. Being secretive with finances
After weddings, one of the first money issues that comes up is; should you merge your finances or not? Should you maintain a joint account or should both parties still continue to have their separate financial independence?
Truth is there is no almighty formula to this issue, you just need to objectively brainstorm with your spouse and selflessly agree on what works best for the family.
This decision is greatly influenced by how transparent both of you are about individual assets, liabilities, income and personal expenditures, this will help you come to an agreement on whether to merge or not.
It is worthy to mention that keeping separate accounts will require double account managements for the family, you might want to consider if that is what you want for your home.
However, couples should keep accounts separate if one has a serious spending problem or an addiction that requires money like gambling.
Making such spouse a joint owner or authorized user on your credit card will make you liable for any debt he or she racks up.
3. Partner’s Debts
Newlyweds can be in for some unpleasant (well pleasant sometimes) surprises if they don’t share detailed financial information before getting married.
There is a high possibility of an early divorce or a tainted marriage if a diligent saver discovers after the wedding, that he/she married a debtor.
Sometimes this realization comes with the feeling of being scammed, but that may certainly not be the case.
Planning to get married soon? Or you recently wedded? Consider having a conversation around possible debts that each person might be servicing.
These conversations can start from trivial issues like imposed family obligations and could extend to bank loans or even overdue credit facilities.
It might not turn out to be the most interesting revelations about your Romeo or Juliet, but it’s worth the exercise.
The truth is, you are a team pulling in the same direction, and one person’s debt has a significant impact on the household finances.
If the debt is bigger than the entire income of the two partners combined, then your finances as a family are definitely going to crash.
In the case where one of you has a lot of debt, it’s important to find out how to pay it off together.
A spouse should ideally want to help a partner pay off debt, although it may not be easy to forfeit years of savings to do so.
One way around this is to partition the family needs into two, let the entire salary of the debtor go into servicing the loan or debt, while the other spouse picks up the household expenses.
You can also get unique advice for your own unique situation from financial experts at Page Financials
It’s one thing to be careful not to inherit huge debts through marriage or relationships – it’s devastating, kills trust, makes marriages go sour from the wedding night, it even leads to discord – but the good news is, if you stick to each other, and communicate well with a transparent financial slate, you can strategize your way into a debt free marriage in good time.
However, there’s even a greater cause for concern; To avoid finding out too late that you have different visions of what life will be like in retirement.
That’s a greater concern because at old age there isn’t much time and energy to mend youthful mistakes.
To be safe from the danger of retiring into poverty, we advise you to start an investment plan early enough.
It will not only safeguard your financial life in the long run, it will give your marriage financial confidence to manage emergencies.
Financial experts at Page financials can help you decide which investment track is best suited for you and your family based on the current situation and your aspiration.
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