Handling Financial Demands from Extended Family in Nigeria

posted on Jun 24, 2025

Balancing cultural expectations and personal finances in tough times

In Nigeria, family is everything. But the idea of family here goes far beyond your parents and siblings. It includes aunties you’ve never met, cousins who show up once a year, and distant relatives who somehow always know when your salary has been paid.

While this tight-knit bond is beautiful, it can also become a heavy financial burden, especially in today’s economy.

A Culture of Giving That Comes at a Price

In many African homes, there’s an unspoken expectation. Once you “make it,” you’re not just living for yourself. You’re living for the countless relatives who sacrificed, supported, or simply share your surname. This culture of giving is rooted in love, tradition, and community. But when life gets tough—as it is now—how do you handle the growing list of demands?

Do you keep stretching yourself thin, or do you finally say no?

This is not a question of selfishness. It’s survival.

The Numbers Tell the Story

According to Statista, the average Nigerian household size is over 5 people, with many families supporting up to 8 or more. Combine this with Nigeria’s high dependency ratio of 0.97, and you’ll see why most working-class Nigerians are financially overwhelmed.

Add to that the skyrocketing cost of living, where a bag of rice costs over NGN70,000 and petrol is around NGN800 per litre, many breadwinners now struggle to provide even the basics for their own nuclear family.

A university lecturer earning NGN200,000 monthly now faces the impossible: feed his family, fuel his car, manage school fees, and still send money to two cousins, an uncle, and someone’s mother’s sister’s child.

The Emotional Burden of Saying No

There’s guilt. There’s shame. There’s the fear of being called ungrateful or wicked. After all, someone once paid your school fees or gave you shelter when you had nothing. So how do you now turn them down?

The truth is, many Nigerians take on loans just to meet family demands. And sadly, not all loans are planned. Some rush to fill an online loan application when that sudden call comes in; “Uncle, school fees is due tomorrow.” Others go for payday loans in Nigeria just to send upkeep money to a relative who refuses to get a job.

While it’s noble to help, it's also risky to deplete your emergency fund or default on a bank loan just to meet unrealistic expectations.

👉 If you’re considering a loan to support your family, read this guide first: How to Borrow Responsibly Without Risking Your Future

How to Manage Family Demands Without Breaking Down

Here are a few tips to help you find balance:

1. Create a Family Support Budget

Decide ahead of time how much you can give monthly. If you earn NGN500,000, allocate 10%, that’s NGN50,000 for family needs. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.

2. Help in Phases, Not All at Once

If a relative needs NGN100,000 urgently, offer NGN50,000 now and tell them to expect the rest next month. This protects your own financial stability while still showing support.

3. Say No When You Need To

Some requests should never be granted if they will leave you broke or in debt. If helping someone means taking a risky bank loan, dipping into your rent money, or risking loan default, it’s okay to decline.

You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup

Helping family is honorable, but draining yourself to the point of financial collapse helps no one. If you go broke trying to meet every demand, you’ll soon become the one in need of help.

Instead, build your financial safety net first. Whether it’s through savings or responsible borrowing from trusted online banks, you must always prioritize your financial health.

If you truly must borrow, use a secure and transparent platform that puts your needs first.

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From payday loans in Nigeria to flexible loan application options, Page Financials is here to support you responsibly, with no hidden charges, no pressure, just smart solutions.

Final Thoughts

In our culture, love is expressed in giving. But true love also means knowing when to protect yourself so you can give from a place of strength. Start building that strength today.